#i am fond of their friendship dynamic... is it obvious

[suddencolds]

of painkillers and lenience

...hello! 😭 I wrote this way back in April; it's been sitting in my drafts ever since. Chronologically, it takes place shortly following Atypical Occurrence.

I wasn't sure if I was ever going to post this. I suppose it's more a character study than a proper romantic installment :') but it's an exchange I'd been wanting to write for a long time.

you can find everything I've written in this universe here!

—

Summary: Yves comes down with something. His best friend wonders where Vincent is, in all of this.

—

Perhaps it’s merciful that it’s on a Sunday that Yves wakes up with the slightest tickle in his throat.

Yves has an idea what it means. He’s had the flu enough times in his life to know that it comes on quickly. Maybe if he attempts to sleep it off, he’ll have a better time over the next few days.

Or maybe not. He cancels his Sunday plans, goes through his itinerary. There’s a slew of emails he’ll have to send off, a handful of meetings he’ll probably have to reschedule for this coming work week. He’ll need groceries, too, to last him the week—ideally something that won’t take too much effort to make. Resting now seems like it’d be a waste of time. Best to get everything over with before the illness has a chance to properly settle, he thinks. 

He really does mean to stop by the grocery store. It’s perhaps just the timing that doesn’t work out as planned. Between figuring out how to reschedule everything that’s coming up with work—figuring out who he can ask if he needs to reallocate any of his assignments to anyone else, rearranging things for clients, and getting all the paperwork in order—all of it takes him nearly two hours. He wanders into the kitchen to make himself a cup of tea, finds himself having to turn aside to cough, notes the unpleasant sting in his throat when he turns back around. 

It’s not terrible yet, but he feels distinctly off. His head feels a little heavy, and everything he does feels strangely—sluggish, maybe. Like he can’t quite manage to be as efficient as usual. Judging by past experience, he’s probably going to crash in a few hours.

He can already feel a headache brewing. Staring at his computer screen probably hasn’t helped with that. If he takes something for it, it’ll probably be at least tolerable when it gets worse.

He opens the medicine cabinet, rifles through the couple bottles and the first aid kit he has stashed in there.

Right. He’s out of Advil.

It’s no matter. Just a quick grocery trip, then—he can grab the rest of his groceries while he’s at it. Yves shuts the bathroom cabinet, grabs his wallet and keys, and makes it all the way to the doorstep outside when the wave of dizziness hits him.

All of a sudden, he feels a little lightheaded. Heat crawls up under his skin, prickling and unpleasant, as if something in him has cranked up the heat generation to the max—but that can’t be right, because he’s shivering inexplicably in the wake of it. He leans his weight back against the wall, squeezes his eyes shut.

Fuck. He probably should have gotten groceries first, before sorting out everything for work. Perhaps going out on his own now would not be the wisest.

He heads back in, locks the door, and—after some thought—calls Mikhail.

Mikhail picks up on the second ring. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“Are you busy?” Yves starts, but the words catch on his throat, and he has to stop immediately to muffle a cough into his elbow. 

There’s a moment of silence on the other end. “It depends what you’re about to ask me for,” Mikhail says.

Yves swallows. Shuts his eyes. He doesn’t like asking for help, but he doesn’t think he’ll be in any state to be doing this on his own over the next few days. “It’s not that urgent. Just if you have time,” he says. 

He can almost feel Mikhail rolling his eyes on the other end. “You’d say that even if you were bleeding out.”

Yves laughs, startled. “I promise I’m not bleeding out. Just—do you think you could run to the store and get me some Advil?”

There’s another, longer pause on the other end. “Any time is fine,” Yves says. A part of him already regrets this. “If you’re busy right now—”

“I’ll be over in a few,” Mikhail says. Then the line goes dead.

—

He doesn’t remember drifting off, but when he wakes, it’s to a knock on the front door.

The knock is just for courtesy, of course. Mikhail is one of a few people whom he’s permitted the privilege—or the burden, perhaps—of having a spare copy of his apartment key.

Yves opens the door anyways.

There, in the windy April weather, Mikhail shuts an umbrella and leaves it dripping at his feet. “You look even worse than you sounded over call,” is the first thing he says.

Yves blinks at him, surprised. “Did I really sound that bad?”

In lieu of answering, Mikhail just looks at him, scrutinizing, the corner of his lip ticking downward. “What is it? An injury? A migraine?” When Yves shakes his head, Mikhail presses forward to pick a stray lint ball off of Yves’s shirt. His hand makes contact with Yves’s shoulder, and he frowns.

Before Yves has a chance to explain, he feels a tickle—not the first, today, and certainly not the last—surface. It’s irritatingly difficult to ignore, more irritating still when he finds himself forced to turn away, to duck into one arm—

“hHehh-!’ hEHh’yyiISCHh-HHEEW!”

The sneeze is rough enough to scrape against his throat. He coughs tightly into his raised arm.

“A cold,” Mikhail says, with a frown. “But usually you don’t take Advil for colds. Wait—don’t tell me this is something worse?”

Yves winces. What is he supposed to say to that? “The Advil was all I needed,” he says. “Thanks for making the trip. I owe you one.”

“No, I’m sure of it now,” Mikhail says. “If it were only a cold, you would’ve driven out to get this yourself.”

“It probably isn’t,” Yves says, neglecting to mention that he knows exactly where he caught this. “Thanks for bringing these. I’ll take the next couple days off. I—”

The next sneeze sneaks up on him. He ducks into his sleeve again, taking another step back.

“hHhEH’iiDzzsCHH-yYew!” The sneeze sends a burst of pain through his temples, and for a moment, he’s glad his face is too deeply buried into his sleeve for Mikhail to see.

“Does Vincent know?” Mikhail asks.

The question catches him off guard. “What?”

“That you’re apparently unwell enough to ask me to pick up Advil for you.”

Yves doesn’t like where this conversation is going. “I told you not to come if you were busy.”

“It’s not a problem,” Mikhail says. “But if you’re sick, shouldn’t he be over here, taking care of you?”

 “He’s had a really busy few weeks,” Yves says, which is true, but simultaneously might be true at any point during the year. He clears his throat. “I - coughcough - wouldn’t want him to catch this.”

“So he doesn’t even know,” Mikhail says.

…Perhaps Yves should’ve thought of a more convincing excuse. Mikhail isn’t the type of person to drop an issue after he’s raised it, and Yves had, perhaps, neglected to think about how—for all Mikhail does to appear casually disaffected—he’s one of the most perceptive people Yves has ever met. “He doesn’t have to know.”

“What are you talking about? He’s your partner. I’ll text him,” Mikhail says. It’s then when Yves recalls that Mikhail probably does have Vincent’s contact—exchanged before their trip to France, so that he could text them all to coordinate the rides to and from the airport.

“Wait,” Yves says, unable to keep the panic out of his voice. “Don’t. If you text him, he’ll - snf-! - feel obligated to come.”

Mikhail doesn’t lower his phone. “I’ll just ask him to drop by,” he says. “You can talk to him about it when he gets there.”

But that won’t happen—can’t happen—because Yves knows that if Vincent were to see him like this… 

I’d feel terrible if you caught this, he’d said. He’d sounded so upset over it. How can Yves, after all his reassurances last week, admit to him now that he’s faring badly enough to need someone to look after him? 

Besides, Vincent probably has enough on his plate already. Yves knows enough to know that in their line of work, taking time off almost always means being swamped with assignments upon return. 

“Please don’t ask him anything,” Yves says.

Mikhail looks long and hard at him. He looks as though he’s trying to puzzle something out. “Did you guys get into a fight, or something?”

“No,” Yves says. “It’s nothing like that.”

“Then, if you’re on good terms, why are you so resistant to the idea of him coming over?”

Yves squeezes his eyes shut, and then opens them. He can think of a dozen more excuses to field away the questions—that isn’t the hard part. Mikhail has always been good at seeing through his bullshit, but if Yves has to steer this conversation to a close through sheer willpower, he thinks he can do it. But then again—

Maybe it’s fine, he thinks, if Mikhail knows. For better or for worse, Mikhail is his best friend. Yves knows that if he asks him to keep his mouth shut about this, he will. 

“Vincent is my coworker,” he says, slowly.

Mikhail’s eyebrows creep up. “Yes, I’m aware.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Yves says, with a cough. “He is just my coworker. Nothing else.”

The alarm that flashes across Mikhail’s face is unmissable. “You two broke up?”

And there it is—another crossroads, where Yves thinks the easiest course of action would be to reshape the current lie into a simpler one, to keep the trappings of their fake relationship intact. With anyone else, it would be easier, that is.

Yves says, honestly, “We were never together in the first place.”

“But you went with him to France,” Mikhail says, confused. “Not to mention, to Margot’s new year party, and then to Joel and Cherie’s housewarming. Are you telling me—”

“That was all an act,” Yves tells him, and waits for this information to register. “There is nothing between us that’s real. That’s the reason I haven’t called him.”

The recognition settles on Mikhail’s face. Then he laughs, a little disbelieving. “You’re really not dating him? Why would you lie about that?”

“Do you remember Margot’s party?” Yves asks. It seems like the right place to start, after everything. “Erika was there with Brendon. And I was bitter, and—to be honest, jealous—and I wanted to show her I was fine. So I asked Vincent to go with me.”

“That was months ago,” Mikhail says.

“It was easier to just keep up the act, after that.” Yves says. “Easier to have him accompany me once a month than it would have been to stage a proper breakup. But obviously, this is all temporary. I just haven’t figured out when it’s going to end.”

Mikhail is quiet for a moment. Yves looks past him, at the staircase that leads down to the first floor.

“You’ll be fine, then,” he asks. “If you two break it off.”

“Of course,” Yves says. “I know it’s going to happen someday.”

“You won’t be upset at all?”

“What is there to be upset over?”

“From the way you spoke to him, I really thought there was something there,” Mikhail says.

“He is a good liar,” Yves says.

“Maybe so,” Mikhail agrees. “But you are not.”

He says it so calmly, it barely registers as an accusation. But Yves hears it, loud and clear.

“Vincent is attractive,” Yves says. “Anyone with eyes can see that. That’s all there is to it.” it feels wrong, even as he says it. Yves has always known Vincent to be attractive—that much hasn’t changed. But he knows that the feeling in his chest when he sees him at work, in the break room, or at lunch—the unusual ache—is a little more than that. 

“Margot’s party was at the end of December,” Mikhail says. “It’s April, now. Margot wouldn’t tell you this, but since I don’t like withholding my feelings from you, I will.”

Yves waits—waits for Mikhail to tell him how all of this has been unduly dishonest, how Mikhail doesn’t appreciate having been lied to.

But Mikhail doesn’t say any of that. Instead, he says: “If you’re still intent on keeping this fake relationship up…” Here, he meets Yves’s eyes, a little sternly. “You should think about who you’re really doing it for.”

It’s only for convenience, Yves wants to say. Now that we’ve set things up already, it’s merely the path of least resistance. But that isn’t quite right, is it?

“Don’t worry about me,” Yves says, trying a smile. “Vincent and I have talked this through already. Whatever happens with our arrangement, I’ll be fine.”

“Okay,” Mikhail says. He pockets his phone, and then hands Yves the bottle of Advil. “Sorry for the interrogation, then. If you believe it to be fine, I trust you.” Perhaps that’s the worst part of it. Mikhail has never been the type of person to stay quiet about any foreseeable problems, but Yves knows that his agreement now is not a tactical retreat, nor is it an acknowledgment that it’s not worth arguing over something they won’t agree on. Mikhail is dropping the subject because he really trusts him.

Yves just doesn’t know if that trust is justified.

Mikhail turns on his heels, steps delicately past the hinge at the bottom of the doorframe. 

Yves clears his throat. “Thanks for stopping by.”

Mikhail nods. “Feel better soon. If you need anything other than Advil, just give me a call.”

Then he’s gone. Yves shuts the front door behind him and wonders just what exactly he’s gotten himself into.

[hexhomos]

little random but i really appreciate your dissections and analysis of Mel mainly bc the fandom either adore her and won't admit she is a flawed character and get over defensive when you call her out, or straight up hate her and make her out to be completely evil.

Mel is written as morally grey for a reason and when ppl try to act like she was morally correct in everything she did, it goes against the whole plot. yes, she regrets most of her actions by the end of the series and is left to deal with her family's leagacy and the weight of her actions, but that doesn't undo anything she did. and her eventually starting to care about Jayce doesn't just cancel out that she manipulated him (you'd think this would be obvious)

what bothers me the most i think is meljay shippers who say Jayce mistreated her and that Mel only ever helped and care about him and aided him in rising to power politically, and how she was so understanding of Jayce's and Viktor's friendship. yes, encouraging methods of political corruption in order to gain more power is so caring and kind of her! ❤️

Mel might've told Jayce to go spend time with Viktor after finding out he was ill, but the one time in the show she interacted with Viktor was... prejudiced to say the least. she never directly spoke to or answered Viktor, and the expression on her face any time she looked over at Viktor was so clearly full of dislike. it shocks me ppl still believe Mel and Viktor could get along and respect one another, especially romantically. no way.

anyways, sorry for the rant. just tired of how many bad takes there are in this fandom and very fond of your account lol

you are right and you SHOULD say it re: that oft repeated argument about her "only wanting what's best for him" bothers me so much. Its just... weirdly patronizing and spousing pro-piltover nationalism every time i see it being brought up. "She's doing what anyone would do/what is best for the city!" IDK MAN I AM NOT ROCKING WITH THAT. Im not an ubercapitalist. I don't think any of that was the good option actually lol. Probably I hate piltover too much to humor these arguments but from day 1 we are shown this is a city of immense class inequality in which the elite few holds all the power and all the profit gains at the cost of everyone else's submission and humanity. (Not for nothing: these are also the classic old guard Noxian tenets of supremacy. That's how they do colonization.)

The interactions Mel has with Jayce for majority of the series, before she watches that bomb come in and has her rapid onset change of heart, are her talking about how investors want his work and how she can use his discovery to advance this city (which is already built on exploitation!) or instigating his rise to power as a new ringleader for the council's rigged mercantile operations, and this is just not good or heroic in any way to me. This isn't love either, it's industrial convenience. The fact that she's conflicted by the end doesn't cancel these actions out! Jayce realizes that he's been used in ways he strongly disagrees with and any the affection in that dynamic vanishes instantly. The time he spends in isolation replaying his mistakes in that cave has an emphasis on mel/heimerdinger's voice on the council too, all of his regrets with blindly following someone else's vision or disappointing an idol he held in high regards.

And Jayce DOES care about the state of the cities, or he did before the writers forgot: He's the one who pleads for Zaun's independence at the end of season 1! He's the one who spent all his life trying to work towards improving the lives of common people, giving them the miracles they've been denied!

Viktor is a fucking nobody. He is extremely worthless in the eyes of the piltovan upper crust, only kept around on the merits working with Jayce have afforded him; and they still don't care. They're probably hoping he dies quicker. We *SEE* him being singled out and alienated during that weapons discussion where Mel is pleading for Jayce to think about "protecting his people" (only piltovans, never, ever zaunites- protecting piltovans against the zaunite menace.) and Viktor is set off at that whole exchange because it doesn't matter how loud he screams, these people can just tune him off and pretend he doesn't exist anyway. It's what they're used to doing. It drives me insane!!!!! His indignation is extremely under-explored and very inline with his act1 speech of feeling like an undesirable presence in piltover and having to push through with the grit of his teeth. It's open faced classism and I still see people pretending it didn't happen. Fandom makes all of these characters FAR less interesting by defanging them. The heart is in the friction and in the ugliness of them fucking up because they have very, very different conceptions of "utopia" - and some of those utopias require the death of the other characters present.

A lot of the Arcane character arcs have to do with realizing the above, and weighing if the sacrifice is worth the risk. Sometimes it turns out their utopias were shit.

[tanoraqui]

Dungeon Meshi Liveblog: Some Much-Needed Downtime TBH

ok I kinda read these species-swap chapters quickly without commenting 2 nights ago bc I REALLY wanted to catch up to the show, and honestly I didn't have much to say? It was a fun showcase of some different species talents, and introduced multiple fun problems for the characters to solve [takes notes in DM]. But it didn't seem to move either plot or characters forward much. Some notes:

Honestly it's surprising that there's only been 1 count of food poisoning so far, when they're trying SO MANY new things. One must credit Senshi's cooking skills!

This might be the single funniest joke so far:

I've seen multiple posts saying Senshi's elfsona reveals him to be feminine by dwarf standards, and I'm genuinely BAFFLED by that take because it is SO obvious that Senshi's elfsona reveals him to be 1. the Hottest Man You Have Ever Met, and 2. HAIRY. We have seen 0 other elves with facial hair. I dug up that showcase of different elves and 0 of them have facial hair. In the Tolkienien lore from which all modern fantasy, or certainly this sort of fantasy, is derived, exactly 2 elves in the history of the world are said to have had facial hair. Elf!Senshi has a tiny little moustache. Elf!Senshi isn't feminine, he is the HOTTEST, HAIRIEST bear in the metaphorical gay club.

...it's possible that he's more of a himbo than we realize, though.

I don't know what's up with Kensuke and I AM worried that it's being directed by the demon. I want it to be Laios's friend so bad...

It occurs to me that "the winged lion is actually the demon at the root of all of this" is probably the biggest spoiler I've gotten, and I didn't even realize how huge a spoiler it was because I DIDN'T get spoilered for the fact that, so far as the characters know, the lion is supposed to be a helpful god. Don't play with spoilers, kids! Even if you want to read the juicy meta!

This initial fight with the gargoyles is probably my new second-favorite "Laios is really quickly analytical and problem-solving in combat" moment (the living armor fight is still #1). He sees how everyone is failing, prevents more problems as he can, realizes they can't win and puts together what pieces they need to get out. In group social dynamics, he's a mediocre leader at best, but he's a superb combat tactician.

Laios is just living in his own little after-school special, and I love him for that.

That first panel is definitely support for the theory that the 50-60yr life expectancy of "short-lived" races like tallmen, orcs, kobolds and halffeet is shorter than it should be, relative to their ages of maturity, because the long-lived races control and hold most of the resources. It's even possible that their ages of maturity SHOULD be even older, but social conditions force them to become "adults" at a younger developmental age than dwarves, gnomes and especially elves!

Panel 3 is Marcille mentally shoving Chilchuck higher on her list of Lives to Extend by Whatever Magic I Can Learn.

I love how the way they figure out that the mushrooms' effects are easily reversible is literally by thinking through the greater social worldbuilding implications of the effects.

^This is the single most Dad we've ever seen Chilchuck...topped only by that 'carry child like a football' a moment later. Actually, he yeets Marcille a LOT while tall - here, over the jump in the travel montage, with Laios to make a loop for the gargoyle...which I'm dead certain is an indication of how he physically treated his daughters. Those kids got casually, affectionately tossed like salad.

.

AND THAT'S WHAT WE CALL FRIENDSHIP.

...okay maybe I did have several thoughts about those 2 chapters.

.

"[Falin] was much tougher than I was. I hear she and our parents still write to each other" is SUCH a line for painting a picture of Laios and Falin's childhoods, and Laios's feelings on it.

.

you can keep your Kabru Wink(TM)s, I am weak only for the Laios Fond Little Smile(TM).

.

I love how Senshi is still musing on this soul = egg metaphor, and I LOVE how both times now that we've seen Laios genuinely lose his temper, it's because someone was saying "why are you just being excited about eating monsters when Falin is in danger?!", and he's snapping because he is fucking NOT dismissing his sister in favor of eating monsters, he is doing EVERYTHING IN HIS POWER to save her and it just so happens that the only plans with a smidgen of success involve leaning into eating monsters. And by trying to stop him from that, you're stopping him from saving Falin.

.

Laios, how tf do you remember the Wink? I'm 99% sure Kabru never once winked in your interactions; I WAS looking for it. Was he just exuding wink energy? (I mean...yes.)

.

The dramatic irony jokes in this chapter are on POINT. Chilchuck: "There's no way this thing still works" [tram door slams shut on his heels, cars immediately starts moving]. "You won't find a military company in the dungeon" [smash cut to Shuro, Namari and Kabru unhappily leading the Canaries into the dungeon]. Impeccable.

Stopping this one here in preparation for going nuts about implied elf-related worldbuilding in the next chapters!

[all-pacas]

Have you thought anymore about the houseswapped au? How do the fellows behave around each other? How much of a kissass is fellow House? Are Foreman and Chase actually friends?

i am obsessed with this weird reverse dynamic house chase thing. because the more you think about it, the more insane it is, right?

house is younger. idk how old, exactly, but he's early thirties at most, he hasn't had his infarction, he hasn't had stacy. for all that house is an asshole - and he is - he has moments of real admiration for others. he likes people who are right, who don't care, who are right despite what people think of them: has he ever had a mentor before? a teacher he actually admired? in this universe, chase is the genius diagnostician, it's not a field house invented.

and even though chase is in house's "role," he's still not going to do it the same. he's distant and he's cold and he's fucked up, but chase has never been an asshole in the same way house is: he's an ass, for sure, but he's not as… extroverted. he's a quieter person. his methods are different: he's socially adept, even if he just uses it to kiss ass and watch his own back. chase in this universe didn't have a mentor to emulate: quite the opposite, he had his father (and didn't have house to imprint on). i think chase-as-house is a quieter person. he avoids talking to patients, he's gunshy and withdrawn, but he's still perceptive. he's still good at it. instead of calling people out on their lies, he talks them into confessing them. he pretends to care. (it's insincere, he's not quite wilson. he just knows how to play people.) in this world's version of damned if you do, he finds out about the nun's abortion by sitting with her and talking to her and quoting bible verses and making her think he's a friend, and then never speaking to her again once he has what he needs (not because he doesn't care, but because he does not want to). he doesn't push people away by being a jerk and lashing out, he pushes them away by icing them out and putting on a front of apathy. that house cares, intensely, is never really a secret in the show: even in the pilot, once he talks to the patient he can't pretend he doesn't care anymore. chase, meanwhile, is regularly accused of being fake and apathetic and incapable of care, even when he spends large chunks of the series openly pining (for his father's affection, for house's approval, for cameron generally). the contrast between house and chase has always made me insane. and in this au??

how would house-as-chase respond to this? would house try to copy this fake empathy and manipulation? would house be less of an overt asshole and more of a manipulator? or would he become louder and pushier to try and cover his boss's lacks? if dr chase is the first mentor figure house has ever had (uno reverse daddy issues time), does house get clingy in that house-ish way? openly proud of their 'friendship' even as he's a bad student and not a great friend? does house try to adopt that chase brand of icy apathy? does chase open up to house in this world? see himself in house?

i think swapped house is an asskisser, not in the same obvious way chase is, but in the… needy kid trying to impress the boss way. he is the BEST at breaking and entering, he ALWAYS has to have the most and smartest ideas (will throw cuddy and wilson under every single bus to win), is sort of hyperactive in his pushiness and desire to be number one (he's still too much of an asshole to do the chase fake empathy thing, although he thinks it's hot shit). i think swapped chase is more openly fond of house than house ever was him in the real world, but still too wary and closed off (he's older, he never had the mentors and friends and team of normal chase, he never had anyone to fall back on when his father died, his one romance went even worse than in canon) to really play favorites — caring leads to pain! — or indulge. if in this universe wilson or cuddy pull a s1 cameron and lust uncontrollably for chase, i think house gets pissed off. not out of sexual/romantic jealousy, but because it's a distraction, it's not what chase needs, because he wants to be the top student, fuck you.

[the-writing-mobster]

were there any fic ideas you never ended up writing that you regret not doing?

also, do you have any other undertale ships? {:

Ah! Thank you for the ask dear heart! Let's see...

Of course I have fics that are still deep in my drafts, and I also have a few unfinished fics currently published ON Ao3.

I don't really regret not publishing certain fics because it's not really a matter of if more than it is a matter of when. A few of these old ideas just need way more fleshing out and just aren't ready for the limelight.

And that "not if but when" mindset is carried over to my unfinished fics as well, like Baby Face and YWIW.

They'll eventually be completed. (Although tbh, I'm not so sure about ywiw now, may have to go and really take a good long look at that one and the goals I want to achieve with it. For YWIW, I guess I regret some of the choices I made with Frisk's character arc. Like I accidentally walked back on things that I shouldn't have. Sequels are hard, y'all.)

—

Now for my other UT ships? Hmmmm...

I'm gonna come out the gate swinging and say that I, first and foremost do not ship Asgore and Toriel. I think their dynamic is more interesting as a divorced couple. Boom. That'll stir the pot some.

(I have a lot of weird UT ships tbh)

Now, moving on to what I actually ship:

Asriel x Papyrus / Papsriel / Boneblossom

This stems more from how I wrote their dynamic in wdyw part 4 + ywiw. See, when Frisk and Sans are off doing hard main character work, Papyrus and Asriel were alone together a lot, working through both of their collective daddy issues together (their fathers were big ole villains and they were consoling each other about their relationships with their fathers, it was actually very sweet) Ergo, I began to ship.

But also, if you look at the game, there are instances of Asriel and Papyrus befriending, and Asriel manipulating him, or growing fond of Papyrus in his own way as Flowey. Yeah there's the problem of "well technically Asriel is a child!" Which like... Okay, he's also dead and immortal at the same time. In wdyw he died at an older age so... 🤷🏻‍♀️ It depends on where you take the story. I could also just ship them platonically. So yeah!

Undyne x Alphys / Alphyne

This one is obvious. They're canon. They're beautiful. I love gay people. I love lesbians. I am a gay people. I am a lesbian. I love them.

Also, low-key, I also just like to explore more of their dynamic than just lovey dovey sapphic stuff. The highs and the lows. And they're perfect to do that with.

Nick x Sans / Nicecream Guy x Sans

This one is unorthodox, but it's because of Baby Face. They're so gay in that fic like it's unbelievable. If not Sans, then definitely Nick. Like they've definitely explored each other's bodies at least once.

Also in wdyw, they have a more complex, complicated friendship since they're more like long lost friends, and the whole "you betrayed our ideals by joining Asgore's military" and Nick "you joined a rebellion that will never win, you've doomed yourself to martyrdom." Sans saving Nick from prison & the purge, ugh, they're so complex, I love em!

Nick is definitely gay. I know we were pushing for Alick but honestly... That boy is gay. And I really believe that. I think the only better pairing for him would be Napstablook, or... And I guess I'll concede to years of shipping before me... Burgerpants/Bryan. Because Bryan has that like, newly joined rebellion, starry eyes, just found out his crush was brutally murdered by one of Muffet's assassins, etc, and then there's Nick, shining hero of the revolution. I think it could work really well.

Muffet x Toriel / Muffriel / Spiderscotch

Bro even the name screams lesbian, wtf? This is like Everlark's alternative ship name being peenis.

BRO THEY LIVE IN THE RUINS TOGETHER, MUFFET SET UP SHOP IN THE RUINS. TORIEL BAKES PIES AND MUFFET BAKES FUCKED UP SPIDER DONUTS. THEY'RE A MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN. (And I'm purely talking about classic, but who's to say that wdyw Muffet wasn't sneaking into the queen's chambers after killing her own husband and poisoning Toriel's daughter right under her nose? UGH THE DRAMA!!!!)

Ugh, I love my gay ships.

Anyway, Toriel is the sweet, albeit very flawed, old money, cottage core wife, and Muffet is the manipulative, borderline Machiavellian, macabre, new money, goth wife and they're PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER. I've never been more serious in my life.

Anyway, those are my UT ships that are not Frans. Don't come for me, I know they're unconventional (except for Alphyne) but I love them each dearly.

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Old pencil drawing I did:

[minsungchronology]

My Personal Opinions on Minsung's Dynamic (2018)

Disclaimer: I am not trying to pass off my opinions as facts. This is my personal interpretation of what is laid out right in front of us. I could be completely off base because I don’t know these guys personally, so take this with a grain of salt and feel free to disagree!

Lee Know is very interesting to me.

That’s literally the first thought I had when compiling all of these moments together.

Members and fans equally describe him as the “Tsundere” of the group (even though he’s a multifaceted person with a very caring side towards his closest ones). We see throughout the years he has a dry/deadpan sense of humor, is sarcastic at times, has a more introverted personality, etc. etc.

When I was a newer fan, I quickly assumed that out of him and Han, he was the one that was more inclined to “keep it together” on camera, thus making it super difficult to read him.

That is definitely not the case for me when making this video…cause holy sh*t??? There are times where the guy is shockingly transparent. (the fansigns and the early vlives, especially)

While putting together clips for this year, I found a clip of him (in a later year) where the other members describe him as someone who’s honest with his emotions, which…kind of tracks if you’ve watched him over the years. It's refreshing to see that in an idol.

I’m of the opinion that he developed a little crush on Han early-ish this year. 

I probably would have chalked down LK’s behavior towards Han as platonic fondness like he has for I.N (he really dotes on the youngest like a baby brother during this year. I felt like these two were also pretty close since you see them together frequently, but their friendship isn’t talked about too much. Jeongho is actually so underrated 😭.), if it wasn’t for Changbin’s subtle yet unsubtle remarks towards those two. Changbin is someone who knows them personally, lives with them, and is with them almost 24/7. He knows them better than any of us ever will. So it’s quite telling to me when that is coming from someone who ACTUALLY KNOWS THEM, which really puts things into perspective. 

He literally acts like someone who teases their friend for having a crush.

You have moments where Changbin points and laughs at Lee Know for staring at Han ~that way~ during the dance segment in the KBS World Idol show, then there’s him giving LK the 😏 look when he gets smiley from Han who was doing…almost nothing…during a Vlive they have before a fansign, AND THEN the 3.NO.RA.CHA car Vlive where he’s like “Lee Know why are you so happy? Why are you so happy?” after LK and Han do something that catches Chan off guard (I’m pretty sure they did the one plus one is cute thing that they end up doing during the two kids room episode). Which goes onto another point…THAT episode:

I find it interesting how LK was the one who requested Han to do the aegyo class with him because…like,,,, what?? 🧍‍♀️

For some reason I thought Han was the one who suggested it.

Then comes the part where LK mentions feelings and Han looks into the camera like he’s in the office and LK just nervously giggles and says “I don’t know” after realizing the implications of what he just said. This is also interesting to me b/c normally someone would react like “Oh no!! Don’t misunderstand!” to diffuse any awkwardness. 

And the fansigns, they are so flipping cute in those. 😭 There’s so much content out there so I was stressing out about how much to include and/or exclude. From these alone, you can tell LK adores the hell out of Han. It’s so painfully obvious to watch. It really puts the “LK can’t live without Han” saying by Seungmin into perspective. 

Han, on the other hand, like I said in a previous post, is harder to read. I honestly don’t think he liked LK “like that” at this point, unless he’s incredibly good at hiding it and didn’t want to acknowledge those types of feelings at all for obvious reasons. If you compare him in 2018 to 2023, it's worlds apart. (lmfao the concerts this year are something else; I seriously can’t wait to get to 2023 b/c whatever happened in Australia Sydney day 1 is VERY INTERESTING, like the fancams from that concert are incredibly eye opening for reasons I don’t want to explain right now 😬😬).  LK has remained fairly consistent imo. I think you’ll start to see some reciprocation from Han in later years.

But they are consistently close this year. They bicker and play-fight like close friends do, they comfortably joke around with each other, and they’re always finding some way to interact with the other. The two of them always seem to be on board with eo's ~weird~ antics too. (Much like you see in subsequent years and this year; they haven’t changed at all in that aspect). They’re the definition of soulmates. 

Seeing their evolution as idols from the beginning is very interesting too when you get to go back and watch almost every single content out there. Like plenty has changed within a 5-6 year span, but a lot of things have also remained the same.

Lee know was noticeably more camera shy back then. Han seemed more outgoing and out there compared to him (the guy is a ball of energy) while LK was quieter and more in the background. You can also see snippets of his characteristic sense of humor and “4d” personality, although, again, he was more camera shy so he didn’t show it as much. 

2019 is still a work in progress, but I think Han's behavior much later that year and in 2020 is an interesting change from what we see in 2018.

[ewanmitchellcrumbs]

Can I just say I love how Alys is being portrayed instead of having her just be tiddies with a witch hat. Big fan of her making Daemon’s life hell it’s fun.

And now I’m hoping that her eventual relationship with Aemond is actually somewhat real (even if it’s not necessarily romantic). I know she’s a spook of war and it’s clear she can fuck with peoples heads so maybe Aemonds the one actually in danger and la dee da shit we won’t know for two years. But she’s been doing some heavy fucking lifting for team green just by sidelining Daemon.

Idk man I just hope Alysmond is actually interesting and doesn’t get fucked over in the writing room.

I love how her character has been written, and Gayle is doing a stellar job of playing her. She has quickly become one of my favourites.

Her dynamic with Daemon is so interesting to watch, though it’s obvious neither is particularly fond of the other, I am really enjoying their reluctant friendship.

I am interested to see what they are going to do with Alysmond in the series. Alys doesn’t fit the mould of the motherly figure that Aemond seeks in Sylvi, so I wonder what she will have to offer him that will pique his interest, and if she will torment him as she has with Daemon?

Excited to find out and hoping against hope that HBO don’t fuck it up.

[teakoodrawz]

YOU'VE BEEN CAUGHT

NOW SHOW US SOME OCS <3

AH! You got me!

well it's been a while since i ever make or reuse some OCs. some were left untouched. I can somehow only show the ones i am fond with <3

[Long post undercut]

SUNNY - DR/SCC OC

this is very obvious you have known her for years and she's one of my first DR OC ever so I don't think she needs any introduction

LEMONY - DR/SCC OC

They are the SCC's adopted child found in the cold corner of the city and now been newly raised as their own

KENJI - DR/SCC OC

you may have seen this guy just now on my recent posts. he is a latest DR OC. Intimidating but he's actually vulnerable

STEPHANY & TILLY & DAKU - OC

i never drew neither of these three much BUT i liked their design

NOAH & RUBY - OC

These two are so fun to design and write their dynamics of friendship. They have a third friend named Rocky but sadly I keep forgetting/procrastinating to make her a ref

CYNTHIA - OC

Last OC to show is Cynthia. she's heavily inspired by a photo I shot since the perfect timing of New Years of the Moon shining through the clouds that's dim shaped like a fish

[fallowtail]

Top 5 Hetty outfits - jk ahem. Top 5 ghosts dynamics?

Oh this is rough their dynamics are all SO good....aahhhh ok. Ok. Going to try my best to fight my brain fog and lack of articulation skills to briefly explain why I chose them! These aren't in order either because that'd be just too evil, lol. Ok.

...I'M DOING SIX YOU CAN'T STOP ME because I accidentally wrote six of these because I miscounted and I don't want to delete one that I already wrote up, lol

Hetty and Trevor ...ok, this one is obvious, but they're just. So. Weird. In a way that you don't expect but that works absolutely perfectly. They're so similar when you get down to it and they bounce off of each other hilariously, I feel like that scene from Isaac's book where Hetty has created a scheme, and is so proud of herself for how devious she is, while Trevor rolls his eyes because he knows how stupid it is but he is still going along with it anyway because he knows if he does she'll give him a treat later (which she does!) sums up their dynamic really well. I love that they butt heads so much and think they have nothing in common when they so clearly do, lol. The way he's slowly shifted into being fondly amused by her vs aggravated is really cute- the way they're both so enthusiastic about what they get up to in the basement is so sweet, Trevor actively wanting Hetty to open up to him, to talk to him and be silly and let loose...that fond little smile she makes at him when he's being a goober during the pillow talk scene. Ugh. They do genuinely like each other but are just so stuck in their ideas about what they should want that they dig their heels in. This is the one I am the most mad about not being able to properly explain how I feel because there is just. SO. MUCH. Going on there with them. Why am I not good at writing, AHHH

Isaac and Hetty THE BESTIES! Oh Isaac and Hetty are just sooo funny like he watched her live her entire life, they are best friends, the two of them both think they run the house but they constantly default back to each other and are usually the only ones the other will listen to, he tried to romance her and then told her he was gay, he enables her bad behavior, he both refuses to take romantic advice from her but also desperately wants her advice, he deeply loves her but very clearly thinks there is something wrong with her, they have dates where they just stare out the window for hours, she clings to him constantly like he's a security blanket, she envies his ability to find love but also kind of hates his boyfriend who she encouraged him to get together with LOL, they're gossip besties, they both deeply crave the others approval, Isaac being happy Hetty found her stableboy but also not being sure why she's chosen Trevor, like. Oh my god. I love Isaac and Hetty so much that I can't find the words even more than the others. They're just so, so, so perfect together and you can always see Brandon and Rebeccas best friendship come through with these two, their scenes are always my favorite.

Sam and Hetty Wow, I wonder if there's gonna be a trend here with which dynamics I enjoy the most because it involves my blorbo, hmmm Something about Sam and Hetty finding family within each other and wanting to learn from their past mistakes and heal from their family damage with each other and then still falling into those same patterns they did in life but with the desire to fix it this time when they realize is so interesting. I love how even in the pilot Hetty warms up to the idea of her moving into the mansion so quickly despite claiming otherwise, and that even in as latest as the Halloween episode you can see them butting heads over Hetty's need to manage people to express care because she thinks she knows best and if she knows best, why wouldn't she tell people how to get what they want? And Sam lashing out when people do that to her because she wants her accomplishments to be her own and for someone to be proud of her for what she does.

Hetty and Flower and Alberta Look I said there was gonna be a trend but I'm squeezing the Lady Ghost Society into one group so that my last 3 answers aren't all for them, lol. The way the lady ghosts interact is so fun and I love that they're all different- Hetty and Alberta being all over each other this season despite their huge conflict at the end of s2, the way Flower and Alberta were the ones who volunteered to be roommates originally, Flower not realizing Hetty didn't understand what good sexual stimulation felt like and then being distraught when she realized Hetty didn't know what happened to her on the washing machine and Hetty feeling comfortable enough to come to Flower to confess her sins and Flower helping her work through it, Alberta having forgotten Flower's name in season 1 but then in season 2 she's the one who makes sure Flower remembers what her name is, it's just so...!! The fact they have a Lady Ghost Society Council is so cute too, oh my god.

Isaac and Trevor Oh my god one that doesn't involve Hetty, what the hell Isaac and Trevor are so interesting...they're kind of similar to H-Money in that on paper you don't think they'd get along, but their interactions are so?? I think Isaac envies Trevor in a way because he's so easily "one of the guys" which is all Isaac ever wanted, buuuut he also thinks Trevor is kind of an idiot, lmfao, because Isaac just thinks everyone in the house except for him and Hetty aren't particularly intelligent I think. (Also he can't get past the pants thing.) Trevor and Isaac both so very, very desperately, just want people to like them, both of them make up these stories about cool things they did to fit the persona they so badly want the others to believe...The Liquor License is such a good episode for them, the way Trevor is content to tease Isaac when he thinks Isaac is having fun doing his snooty thing but then as soon as he realizes Isaac got left alone he goes to find him...they're just really, really fun to pair up together and I'm looking forward to this next episode with them being a duo! You can really see Brandon and Asher's friendship shine through in their scenes together.

Isaac and Sam Isaac and Sam's relationship is so weird and I absolutely love it. Isaac shadowing Sam all day in the new episode and kind of making fun of her "Yogaaaa!", them doing yoga together and her ditching him when he fell asleep...there was an interview back in December where Rose talks about the Sam and Isaac dynamic and how weird it is saying Sam just really seems to want to serve him and his best interests and that there's something going on with Sam for her to want that out of Isaac LOL, she really does seem to cave into him the most out of any of the ghosts because something in her just seems to want to impress him? But at the same time he annoys her. It's fascinating. That little heart to heart they had about not needing outside approval but then immediately dropping it as soon as they got approval for her book was SO funny and they really just want everyone to like them and be proud of them and it makes for such a fun relationship to explore.

Phew! Ok, that was long, and I'm frustrated I can't properly say what I actually want to say or feel for any of these but hopefully that all comes across decent enough! <3

Ask me my top 5 anything game!

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

i finished sputnik sweetheart!! :3

okay so . well. i don’t know where to begin with this one 😭😭 it was a really lovely read!!!!!

before i say anything else:

murakami is a freak . we know this. i feel like it’s always obvious when you’re reading a murakami book because not only will you recognize the prose, you’ll recognize the Freak beneath it all . people often talk about how murakami can’t write women and i don’t think that’s true, i just think it’s very obvious that a Man wrote them …. i really loved sumire’s character and her relationship with miu, but i still felt that way. i think the narrator’s attraction towards sumire actually adds a lot to the book since it explores sexual desire, love, friendship and the lines between them, but in the beginning it really did feel like some weird … heterosexual fantasy. by the end of the book i had grown really fond of their dynamic but it started out very ’why is this guy even here’……

and in line with that!!! the theme of the book being desire sort of excuses most of the eroticism (/ gives it a purpose) but as i was reading there were still so many times where i was like pleaaaase murakami can you go two seconds without getting horny…….. please……….. like it makes sense but also . i don’t need to know about his boner . i didn’t need to know. in general i think murakami’s freakism shows a lot in how he just can’t stop thinking about sex . or conflating romance and sex. there’s a lot more to this book than just that and i actually really loved the exploration of unorthodox loves / relationships but it does have to be said . murakami is very freudian!!!!

all in all though this book really wasn’t that weird or explicit….. but maybe that’s because my standard of his freakism is kafka on the shore . anyway. those are just some disclaimers for anyone who might read this — murakami is a freak !!! a weirdo!!!!!!! i think his writing is more progressive here since at the very least the center of the narrative is two women, one of which is a lesbian (and her identity is handled with relative grace), but you can definitely sense the heterosexualism beneath it all lmao

anyway anyway ONTO THE POSITIVES because i really did love this book …… murakami’s writing is really lovely!!!!!! as always. there were a lot of lines i really adored and his prose is just very pretty……. also very gritty. it has a lot of bite to it. and his books always have a specific vibe to them... i love it a lot. ALSO SUMIRE AND MIU….. i already mentioned them but their dynamic was such a highlight for me !!!!!! sumire is so charming and miu is too ……. in really different ways. anyway i too am a lover of older women so miu just swooping in and giving sumire a job ……. all mysterious and successful……. i was foaming at the mouth . me next please . their relationship was handled well in general, and it was definitely the most interesting part of the book aside from the usual magic realism….. miu wanting to love sumire back but not being able to after losing the other half of her self…… the scene with them in bed together…… it felt very tender somehow .

i really loved these lines:

miu reached around sumire’s shoulders and pulled her closer. she’s still a child, miu thought. lonely and frightened, she wants someone’s warmth. like that kitten clinging to a pine branch.

like . the mother issues are mothering when it comes to these two (miu being almost maternal in the scene above, sumire falling for an older woman because she (presumably) longs for her dead mother?) and i guess that’s just murakami being murakami but i am sadly . into it . their dynamic feels so multifaceted. one thing murakami does a lot that i will always love is that he blurs the line between different loves …… what the characters in sputnik sweetheart feel for each other can’t be summed up in just a couple words . i said the theme was desire but Really the theme is love — the narrator’s love for sumire, her love for him, her love for miu, miu’s love for her … i really enjoyed that web between them all.

another central theme is loneliness and that appealed a lot to me too . how all the characters are isolated and alienated and feel different from others…………. and of course the way that connects to the gap between reality and dreams that murakami (and i) love so much . i just adore it !!!!!!! miu’s backstory, sumire’s disappearance, the narrator almost falling into the same dream world as sumire when he walks up that hill ….. the idea that we flee into the world of dreams to escape our loneliness. on the other side sumire can see her mother, she can find the other half of miu, she doesn’t have to face reality. i think the only reason she makes it out at all is because she can’t see the narrator there. i just love that aspect of it … magic realism my most beloved . murakami always does it very well which is why i can’t stay away from his books . i fear ……

anyway i can’t really wrap up all my thoughts in a satisfying way ….. there’s a lot i could talk about!!!!! this book has parts here and there that are very murakami in a bad way, but overall i thought it was such a lovely work :’) the writing, the concept, sumire and miu …………… yeah . kafka on the shore is still my favorite of murakami’s works, but sputnik sweetheart was very up my alley too <3 i had a lot of fun with it!!!!

some of my favorite quotes:

this beach was a little too quiet for a person to visit alone, a little too beautiful. it made me imagine a certain way of dying.

the answer is dreams. dreaming on and on. entering the world of dreams, and never coming out. living in dreams for the rest of time.

blood must be shed. i’ll sharpen my knife, ready to slit a dog’s throat somewhere.

face turned down, without a word, that something makes its exit. the door opens; the door shuts. the light goes out. this is the last day for the person i am right now. the very last twilight.

why do people have to be this lonely? what’s the point of it all? millions of people in this world, all of them yearning, looking to others to satisfy them, yet isolating themselves. why? was the earth put here just to nourish human loneliness?

”you’re a part of me; i’m a part of you. you know, somewhere — i’m not at all sure where — i think i cut something’s throat.”

[lazarus-harp]

matthew and teala, in a platonic way ofc! but throughout season three teala ALWAYS had matthew her first choice when she needed someone to team up with, she always gravitated toward him during the group discussions, and she had the most trust for him while matthew was really the only one who paid attention to her when she spoke, he always made sure he got some of her input during group discussion, and in episode 4 he says that he was scared to vote someone in, my personal headcanon is that in episode 2 matthew purposely lost against safiya to save tealas life bc mere seconds after jc dies he runs to teala to make sure shes okay, and on a GTlive episode teala said that bts of etn matthew was the only one who liked it when rambled about something and that she saw him like a dad and he saw her like a daughter. anyways enough with my rambling i am the number one meala stan and take this playlist on your way out!

oh mat & teala is so near and dear to me! i was beyond pleased to see this ramble about them in my inbox, plus a playlist? cannot thank you enough <3 what a treat! it's been a while since i've talked about them on here i think, but before i came around to mrs i was very much a mat/teala truther haha. she reigned as my favorite detective friendship for a solid year, to the point that i was shocked when i came into the fandom and saw how little others acknowledged it. you've touched on everything already but if i may ramble as well for a brief second ...

teala always choosing matthew will never not be absolutely crazy to me. at first glance, it makes sense, who wouldn't choose him? he's the detective, he's smart and stupidly charming, has a reputation for being capable and well liked -- everything teala is not. she doesn't know him, like jc and mostly everyone else there, but he looks and acts and seems like the kind of stranger who can do the impossible. so, naturally, she wants him! but then comes the fourth episode where she's team captain ( ironic, really, given how she's who everyone rallies against ) and, like before, her first choice is mat and she gets him. now, i need everyone to take a moment and remember that the only reason our beloved super spy still breathes is because mat failed a challenge. one that cost the person who also trusted him their life. to anyone, this would heavily impact their previous views on his skills, and elevate safiya's ... but not teala lol. the fact she chooses mat in a heartbeat over the very girl who gave her all to save her? it's, um, telling! this moment is actually one of my favorites to bring up to others when i try explaining the amount of power the detective holds with people, because you just don't see this in etn, or really anywhere. back to my girl though ; it's abundantly obvious mat couldn't do wrong in her eyes, because he's one of the only people who doesn't want her to die. as early as episode two during the voting scene, we see and hear matthew tell teala her name's being tossed around a lot. he's warning her. preparing her just in case. it's a kindness nobody else bothers to give her, and they hardly know each other at all. i think the detective has a fondness for the underdog types, for people deemed useless or easily bullied ; in part because it feels wrong, but i wouldn't be surprised if mat also enjoyed being the 'superior' or 'savior' in a dynamic. you know, the smarter one and all that. yet no matter his reasoning, his instincts, he came to really like teala, even during scenes where he seemed frustrated with her.

ep4 is a moment, because i wholeheartedly believe mat would've never voted teala had his hand not been forced. he put in jc and nikita despite the easy way out being presented countless times. he just refused to let teala be his personal scapegoat -- so to see him have no other choice in the man with no name episode is quite saddening. he couldn't vote safiya when she'd been nothing but useful, and he could never vote rosanna or himself ... there just wasn't another choice. people might think mat's borderline manic glee when rosanna returns is proof that he didn't care much for teala but i mean. ro is his best friend, the girl he's practically stitched to his side, was he supposed to not be overwhelmed with joy that she was the one who made it back? nikita has the same reaction in ep5 when manny makes it and we know ( considering the hug ) that this didn't mean she hated mat. best friends are just a whole other playing field honestly. matthew wouldn't want anything else, but i do believe this outcome hurt. there's this raw anger and pain vibrating off of him the second the girls' names are called, all tense and shoving his face in his hands, and it's a type of hurt we don't see from him often. sure, could just be that ro's going in, but it could also be because it's ro and teala specifically. all his attempts at protection, his silly hope that teala might keep pulling through, only for that to mean nothing in the end. mat seemed resigned to the act of pulling teala's dead weight to the finish line, but i don't think she was ever going to let him. for all her naivety and struggles teala knew she wasn't wanted and knew she wasn't capable, so while she wouldn't just roll over and die, she wasn't going to try to stick around. it's why her words to defend herself in that last voting session are blunt, honest, and defeated. ahhh ... what a tragedy! just feels like mat's heart broke in that moment, a little bit. and it's soooo telling that rosanna was sent in for those same reasons ; aka seeming defeated and not having a 'fire' in her like everyone else. how can people not notice s3's fave male totally has a type in girls?

also as for your personal hc i gotta say this has always sorta been my view on what happened too. it's no secret i heavily have my foot in the 'mat was jealous of jc and scared of being one-upped by him' theory ... leaving me to believe he'd rather teala survive instead of the hippie. of course there's more nuance and complicated, messy emotions to this as well! for mat things are never easy and clean cut. there were many things at stake here : proving himself to be as good of an opponent as everyone thought he was, that knee jerk want to save teala, that fresh guilt of dooming jc, the fact the very person he was envious of admired him greatly, and it's too much to handle. my interpretation of everything is that at first matthew was dragging his feet, was unsure of what he really wanted, and was pretty ready to let jc die for teala's sake during the hot dog part. but the public humiliation of it all, having everyone look at him with doubt, changed his mind for a brief second ... he needed to prove himself, he needed to redeem his losses, but even then that fight isn't really in him. not in the same way we see in ep5 and ep8, where he fights more fiercely for his own life. did mat wish death on jc? no. will he feel guilty and wrong for his death until the end of time? yes. but is some part of him glad teala made it, at least in that moment? absolutely. the detective loves rationalizing things to himself too, so i wouldn't be shocked if after everything he leaned into the 'i did it for teala' narrative hard. a way to justify his loss, his incompetency, the blood on his hands. and again, a part of that is true, just as much as it isn't. anyway! this sort of view on ep2 is exactly the reasoning for why this pin is on the detective's board. it's referring to that hc :

ahem! god i definitely rambled for a lot longer than a second, but this ask awakened my passion for this dynamic. the gtlive collab episode was adorable in every way -- as well as shocking, because wow, is irl teala staunchly different compared to the character she portrayed. she is not shy at all, instead being very loud and perverse, which was a fun surprise. i guess my conclusion here is that i love these two platonically, that's my favorite read of them, though i've dabbled in them romantically before too and didn't hate it. could see in a normal 70s au teala having this shallow crush on him ... getting flustered around him because he's nice, smart, handsome, and likes her for what she thinks is no reason. less about actually having those feelings and more so being naturally drawn to the perceived safety his presence provides. though if teala ever came into herself more she'd probably find attraction elsewhere, since at her core she only adores matthew as a friend and a safety room, so to speak. either way! this dynamic deserves more appreciation than it gets! it's practically buried under all its potential. would love to see this talked about more or written into more fics, but we'll see!

[derrickthedreaming]

[M4F] 💖 ESOTERIC STUFF AHEAD 💖

The man's steps echoed through the forest, each one causing the veil of dried twigs and leaves to crackle under his feet. It were hours, or maybe even days that he was wandering aimlessly in those woods in search for the ancient artifact, but until then it seemed like all he did was walking in circles. The tediousness of his task was almost driving him crazy, and he was constantly on the verge of giving up for good, but for better or for worse his determination dictated him to continue

And then it happened. At first, it seemed almost like a mirage, likely given how thoroughly exhausted he was, but upon closer inspection the figure he saw moving amidst the foliage became more and more definite. From occasional glimpses of white and purple, he could then make out the outline of a body, a feminine one, and its erratic movements less and less dictated by chaos... It was a dance, performed by what would have been a normal woman hadn't it been for those long, luxurious white hair that elegantly flowed behind her and bounded with every step she took

Awestruck, he walked closer without even considering what to say, such was his curiosity, but be it for distraction or a deliberate choice, once he was just a couple of feet from her, she suddenly twirled, making her silken locks swipe right across his face. Upon impact, a cloud of shimmering dust was left it its wake, and the combined effects of its silken softness and flowery fragrance made his eyes flutter

From there, the world seemed to slow down

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

... Let's try something different, shall we?

Creative spurts come out of nowhere, and the one I had came in the form of a longing for a story that would inspire in me the same kind of passion and intrigue I felt from the books I read many years ago, and probably also because of my great passion for D&D and fiction in general. That tenderness mixed with the right dose of melancholy that once filled my mind with endless daydreams, stories and characters... If you get what I'm talking about, you'll be a perfect partner!

In short, I'm mainly looking for someone to be a huge nerd with 😅

Think of it as a long-term roleplay with everything a story needs to be good plus the fun of more spicy scenes, and filled with all those things dorks like me go crazy for, plus the obvious fun of explicit scenes!

The standard setting would be whichever place our characters would fit the most, be it modern, fantasy, sci-fi or other kinds. Being it the classic scenario of enemies who constantly bicker but slowly grow fond of each other, an unlikely friendship that can either bloom into something more or end up in tragedy, or something as simple as a character being in love while the other remains hilariously oblivious, every kind of scenario and character dynamic is well accepted, no matter how tropey. As long as it will keep both of us affectioned to the characters and constantly wanting to see where the story will go, I will call that a wonderful experience!

Further information about the characters I have available, along with sheets and image references, can be discussed, as well as eventual preferences, limits and the usernames for any other better-versed app for this kind or roleplay. I'll tell in advance that if I enjoy a roleplay I tend to become VERY invested, with extremely regular responses, and I understand someone might not match my level of commitment, so anyone interested is kindly asked to be transparent and let me know in advance if the story is becoming stale to them once we're in it. I've had far too many partners suddenly ghosting me in the past and I'd hate that to happen again...

⚠️ Last thing to add, might be important to know that I'm TERRIBLE in playing dominant roles and am a huge sub, but you probably already got that 🤭

What else to say? If this sounds like what you're looking for, and you too want a story to remember filled to the brim with narrative, intrigue and that sweet, sweet tension, don't hesitate to hit me up✨

𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝...

[randoimago]

may i ask for xenosaga for the ask game?

🥺 (sorry I am v happy that I have an actual excuse to talk about this game series)

Ask Game Here

3 male characters I love: Albedo (he needs a hug), chaos (he's so shady but I love him), Jin (permanent party member that I love with all my heart)

3 female characters I love: KOS-MOS (queen), Miyuki (god I fucking love her), MOMO (she's my child and I wish her all the therapy)

3 romantic ships I love: Ziggy/Juli Mizrahi (give MOMO the mom and dad she deserves), Jr./Sakura (Xenosaga 2 had me feeling so many things), Miyuki/Togashi (I just want her happiness)

3 platonic dynamics I love:

KOS-MOS/Shion (I know some people ship them in a relationship, but I very much love the friendship dynamic they have)

chaos/Jr. (Xenosaga 2 made me feel things)

Ziggy/MOMO (dad that lost his son with girl that lost her dad? I love it)

3 favorite moments in canon:

KOS-MOS awakening in Episode 1 (video game) was so freaking cool ngl, I still love it so much (any scene with KOS-MOS is top tier ngl)

Virgil and Feb during the saddest moment in Xenosaga 3 was so amazingly heartbreaking

Albedo digging graves in the 2nd game was so heartwrenching (all he wants is to be able to die with his brothers but he can't 😭)

3 favorite headcanons:

I love to imagine Shion and Jin just fighting in the kitchen because Shion wants to make her special curry and Jin is apalled because it's not spicy enough. I want more sibling dynamics.

MOMO and Jr. sitting together and MOMO asking to hear stories about her sister from his perspective. The feelings Jr. had for her so obvious as he talks about Sakura.

Albedo and Rubedo (Jr.) getting in countless tiny arguments about dumb boy things and Nigredo (Gaignun) having to step in and be a mom telling her kids to get along.

3 least favorite things about it:

The fact that it's only on Playstation 2 and didn't even get an upgrade for PS3 back in the day.

Not really about Xenosaga specifically, but the amount of times I've seen "Oh yeah, KOS-MOS from Xenoblade, right?" and it's made me want to sigh - not to mention her name is pronounced wrong in that game (one day I'll go back to the Xenoblade games).

While I do have such fond memories of the games when I was little (first game that introduced me to my love of JRPG's), it really is Cutscenes the game. I know Xenosaga 3 made some of the cutscenes feel more like you're playing, but I would have loved more gameplay inbetween instead of 30 minutes of gameplay then 3 hours of cutscenes (I might be over-exaggerating a bit). The story is really good though.

[pooktales]

The Fitz

Some pooktales fanfiction trivia!

I am a huge Star Trek fan, so when it came to the Romancer Turaho story, it was obvious what I should model Supervisor Fitzsprocket's bar after.

Quark's!

You know, the little grimy Goblin-like guy from Star Trek: Deep Space Nine? He had his own bar on the space station where all kinds of fun and sometimes illegal shennanigans ocurred. Mainly, it was a place for Star Trek officers and other aliens in the quadrant to mix, drink, and play dabo.

I imagined that Supervisor Fitzprocket, the legendary Goblin Venture Co. official that Tauren pathfinders never seem to find enough adventurers to kill and keep dead, would be more than just a guy with a clipboard. Surely, he wants to make a little profit off his employees, too!

So, does Turaho, as a hard-boiled Tauren investigator sworn against the Venture Co, have a contentious relationship with ole' Fitzy similar to Quark and you-know-who?

Ya know, it only just now occurred to me that I could have done that, dropped some Odo references in there and given them a more hateful dynamic. But Turaho is actually pretty fond of his law-breaking Goblin adversary. He doesn't fully trust Fitz, but Turaho finds him very useful. So there's no need to ruin a beautiful fake friendship, is there?

Turaho also has his eye on a pretty "dabble" girl, a snow-white Tauren gal who goes by Cokie Whitefeathers. And, I added a gaming simulation area upstairs like the holo suites, and we had a guest cameo by the most famous Warcraft personality to ever surprise us in a setting connected with Tauren and Chief Baine Bloodhoof--King Anduin.

So, if you'd enjoy a Star Trek-Warcraft moment in fiction, head on over and read that chapter LOL

The Romancer Turaho is about the silliest fanfic I've written thus far, in that it has these really joyful, over-the-top moments along with the more serious ones. But hey, the main plot is us wondering whether or not King Kael'thas Sunstrider kidnapped the equivalent of Santa Claus, so there ya go.

[huskymaine]

what do u think of kakarin and obirin? what do u think of rin?

Thanks for the ask, Anon!

So for starter, I think of Rin as a very, very kind and brave girl, possibly the bravest one in her team (excluding Minato for obvious reason). Like I got the feeling when both Kakashi and Obito fluctuated or felt hesitant, she was the one who, quite literally, determined to pull them forward. I don’t know Kishimoto deliberately made her like that or he was just too lazy (and sexist) to make any Rin’s personal dilemma that doesn’t revolve around the boys, but yeah in all its flaw Rin is the girl who was soft yet also very earnest to help others and do what she needed to do.

And interestingly, while sometimes people showed their soft side and strong side for different person depending on their feeling (like Part 1 Sakura who was very soft toward Sasuke yet showed her hot-headed side to Naruto), Rin’s soft and strong sides reserved for everyone regardless of her romantic preference.

For Kakashi Rin can be like this :

But also can be like this :

For Obito Rin can be like this :

But also can be like this :

Even Minato implied that Rin had her way to scold him :

and pointed out her earnestness :

All in all I think Rin is a very charming girl and I’d like to know more of her, like more of her P.O.V would be great. And she definitely didn’t deserve to get such a brutal fate so It’s totally understandable for me that Obito wanna destroy the world for her (although of course I don’t condone it). She just, deserved more..

(put your cookery on a fridge is such a lazy move, Kishi..)

About KakaRin and ObiRin, I am not really a shipper person so in general I am pretty fond about both of them (plus KakaObi). Although if I really, really have to choose, I think I have more soft spot for ObiRin. Their relationship on Obito’s flashbacks is just so cute and sadly Kakashi and Rin didn’t have enough moments for me to ship it. 

As per their shown dynamic, Obito loved Rin romantically, Rin loved Kakashi romantically and Kakashi had no romance feeling for either of them, but if they got a chance to grow up together peacefully, perhaps those dynamics will change, like Rin gets over her crush on Kakashi, or Obito accepts that his relationship with Rin remains platonic (he kinda already did this on Kannabi incident), or Kakashi develops romantic feeling for either of them. Which ever way, I don’t think that it will change their friendship though.

Or they can be in poly relationship and married to each other as Nohara Obito, Uchiha Kakashi, and Hatake Rin 😆

[coffe-with-milk]

Yes.

I made my own version because I want it.

I also divided it under the cut to make it look clear.

(I'm going to give my opinion only so that the post doesn't remain so empty)

•Toumaki: There's no explanation really, it's obvious because I love the ship.

•IzuKoma: Their dynamic is just ✨great✨ to me and I think the reason I loved this couple so much is because I didn't see much content from it. I feel like it's a very underrated ship.

•ImaSaka: Literally the first ship I paired, so I'm very fond of it <3

•KinFuku: it also doesn't need an explanation, i love the rivalry and respect that they shared.

•ShinAra: I only like it because of the fanarts (I never understood why it's so popular but whatever)

•TadoTou: I don't know, when I found out they went to the same university I couldn't resist haha. Plus I think they could form a great friendship :3

•ShinIzu: It also doesn't need an explanation, a very pretty ship even though I don't really match them, the way Izumida sees Shinkai is adorable.

•MidoKoma: Their relationship is a little toxic if you examine it but I still like it mainly because for Komari, Midousuji is his "safe zone" so to speak and I also really like that Komari is also one of the first people Midousuji trusts, he is literally Mido's right hand and that's why I like their dynamic. <33

•AshYuu: I love the scene where they meet and how Yuuto has great respect for Ashikiba, it's just sweet for me.

•MidoMana: I don't know, I just like it because they are the characters most matched with Onoda and also because they are not 100% mentally well (mainly Mido)

•NaruSaka: A cute bromance.

•FukuAra: It also doesn't need an explanation, their relationship is simply beautiful.

•KinAra: At first I hated this ship but then I really like it because it is almost the same as FukuAra in my point of view.

•AraTou: I really don't know why I like this ship, at first I also hated it a lot and then I inexplicably liked it ._.XD

•TeshIzu: They are both captains, it seems strange to me that they are not paired together much.

•ManaIzu: I don't know, because they were the youngest of the first generation of the team.

•KomaYuu: I never understood why the fandom draws them together as friends but hey, long live love.

•ImaNaru: I love their development but I just don't match them.

•T2: Sorry everyone but I'll be honest, I can't see them as a couple. It's a great ship but I can't see them together in a loving way.

AshiTe: Same as T2, I can't see them as a romantic couple :(

MidoSaka: Their dynamic is great and I love how the fandom portrays it but I just don't match them.

IshiMi: I feel like Ishigaki is too much for Midousuji...

SanSaka: Sorry for this too but I feel like Manami is too resentful for losing so many times...

DouKabu: I like the moments in which they coexist but no, they would be against having a relationship xdxd

•NaruMido: I like him a little but at the same time I don't, Midousuji is very mean to him so no.

•KabuAo: No, I just don't like it romantically...

•ManaTou: I like it a little but in a one-sided way (Manami confessed in the manga that he might be in love with Toudou or something but I feel like Toudou couldn't reciprocate his feelings)

•ManaYuu: Eh, I don't know, their fanarts are cute but I don't like the ship.

•KabuDan/FukuShin/KuroIzu: JUST FRIENDSHIP AGAIN.

•IzuDou: eh... I don't know really... their relationship is good but it doesn't convince me...

•AraSaka: I know they get along well but I don't like their dynamic.

•ImaMido: NO, JUST NO, THAT'S DIABOLICAL

•TadoMaki: I am a TouMaki shipper, there is no further explanation (I loved their friendship so I also support the ship)

•DouYuu: NO. I have no reasons, I just don't like it and that's it.

•KuroAshi: I don't like the way Kuroda annoys Ashikiba...

i've been obsessed with ywpd for two weeks now, so i made myself a shipping wheel...

mdsk is the otp and an endgame friendSHIP. i just know they will be friends by the end and it makes me happy

i didn't include ships including 3+ people, but i do like midosansaka and kinfukushinara or whatever's the name of that foursome lol

and i REALLY like (childhood) friends so ships like kabu x danchiku, kuroda x izumida or shinfuku immidiately appeal to me. they feel right

but also i don't have an opinion on many ships because i haven't seen much of them

clean picture under the cut